Well... that didn't take nearly as long as I'd hoped.

I log into my facebook account today to find this posted on my page:


Already?!?

 Bummer... I didn't expect him to notice so quickly.  I mean, it's not like I painted the car a new color... or replaced it with a Vespa and tried to act like nothing had changed.  Hmmph.  Oh well, now he knows about it.  But, he's still got to drive it every day!  Woohoo!

(Because I am obviously a kindergartener, I giggle at it every time I pull in the driveway)

Maybe I should aim for something a bit more absurd the next time around.  Perhaps I could have his middle and last name legally changed to Osaurus Rex behind his back? Mark Osaurus Rex.. maybe go all the way and change his first name to Tyran.  ...I am open to suggestions... This isn't over!!!

My patience was running thin....

Just as I thought my attempt had failed, I receive a package in the mail...

Hmm... it's the size and shape of a license plate... What ever could it BE??

So, I tear into that envelope excitedly like a child on Christmas and WHAT DO I FIND?  Well...It looks like Pennsylvania's Department of Motor Vehicles is in on the joke.  They've approved a very special personalized plate just for me!  It went through the "fart joke" filter and although "BOOBS" would be denied (or, yes, even B00B5... bastards)... They let this one slide.  How fortunate for my fiancé!


Yes, this will do.

Along with the plate they've sent a new registration card and a new registration sticker.  Yep, it's completely legit.  They're completely ridiculous.  What prisoner had the pleasure of creating this abomination?  That's what I wondered... for about 2 seconds before returning to the task at hand.  This shiny new bastard needs to be affixed to the rear-end of that Sentra!! 

But, how do I do this without getting caught??  Ahh.. yes, I will do it under the cover of night.  While I search for flashlights, I come to realize that NOT ONE has working batteries.  Unbelievable.  However, I suddenly remembered the pig light that was in my purse.  Ugh, if that's what I have to use... that's what I will use.  Besides those 'strills on that bad boy are ABNORMALLY bright.  In case you aren't familiar with a Pig Light... I invite you to familiarize yourself:

the 'strills

So, I head outside with my flathead screwdriver, plate, LED 'strills and get to work.

Your time is up, EXM - 6948.

Finally, it is off.  Good riddance to the bore and MOSTLY to the unwelcome advertisement that was stuck to it by one of the WORST auto dealerships on the planet.  Into the  trash you go.  Suck it, Conicelli.

While his cousin kept him distracted inside I managed to sucessfully affix it and replace the paperwork in the glove compartment.  Behold:



Allow me to use the pig light to illuminate it for you.

Now.... How long will it take for him to notice?  And how many oblivious close-encounters will occur?  I will keep you updated!  Stay tuned...

Here's the Deal...

My fiancé wanted to switch cars with me because he has a longer commute and my car gets wayyy better gas mileage. Obviously, it's still registered to me, so I figured I would order a registered 'vanity' plate for it to turn it into the vag mobile. 

I've been asked to document the *entire* process, so I've decided this is where I will share.  Let's see how long it takes him to find out... and how he takes it.

So, here is the soon-to-be bearer of a brand new shiny license plate:

There it sits.  All by itself.  Bored out of its mind.  While I was out "grabbing the mail"  AKA, taking this picture I notice that he is ALREADY onto some sort of shenanigans.

"Taking pictures of the cars?" he asks in a confused-sounding tone.  I said.. "Heh yeah... just taking pictures of the cars..."  So, I quickly snap one of the other car just to throw him off.



Yep, another car...

 He's still watching.  Why in the world would I be outside taking pictures of our cars?  He didn't question that as long as I was taking photos of BOTH of them.  Makes sense.

Let the Official Business Begin

How do I choose a tag that will somehow make it through the stringent elimination process of the PennDOT "special" registered license plate department.  A place where the word "fart" sends people into a full-blown panic...  Well,  creativity is key. 

I go onto the website and happily I find that not only does it let you know whether or not your choice of lettering is available, but it actually shows you what it would look like on the plate!  I read the instructions and find that you must make 3 choices and THEY get to pick which one you will get... if any!  Still hopeful, I try my first choice:

Subtle, yet effective indeed.  And look at that!  It's available!  Onto selection #2:

Yes, that will certainly get the point across.  Okay, I like it.  Is it available?  YES!  It is!  I'm getting more excited by the minute.  But, a third choice?  Well, I figured I'd push it just a little bit futher with this one:

Look how fantastic it looks on there!  I can't even wait for its arrival so I can slap it on the back of that bored, lonely little car driven by a 6'5" tall man.  And what luck!  It too is available!!  Okay, I'm sold.  What do I need to do to get one of these bad boys IMMEDIATELY?? 

Well, according to the instructions you click on a link that sends you to a form.  A print-out form.  You know what that means?  'Immediately' has been cut back by at least several days.  Boooo!  Oh well, I hit the print button and grab the forms and begin filling them out.  Unfortunately, I don't have my VIN or title # memorized so, I have to find a way into that car without him noticing. 


Clueless.

 Black Ops.  Thank you, Playstation Network.  I quietly sneak by and grab his keys and make my way toward the door.  Success!


Almost there...

 I manage to make it out the door without him yelling "where are you going??" Black Ops will surely keep him occupied long enough for me to get in, grab the info and get out without being noticed.


Hmm.. glad to see you're keeping things tidy.

 I get in, and tear through that glove compartment like one of those fat kids on Maury tears through a buffet.

Success!!

Alright, I've got the info written on a notepad... now to get back inside and get that form filled out and ready to go.


Never suspected a thing.

 I'm sitting here about 6 feet from him filling out this super-serious governmental form with vaginal references trying to put on the most 'serious business' face I can muster.


Almost ready.

 Just a few more things to do.  There's a $20 fee (well worth it, if you ask me).  So I write a check...

In case you didn't notice, I added a little note in the "for" section in case they may have any questions as to what this $20 is regarding.


Subtlety is crucial here.

 Okay.  The check is written, signed and vag'd - the form is completed, signed and thoroughly vag'd.  I should have that plate in NO time!!  Then I stumble upon this...


You have GOT to be kidding me!

 First of all, why did they choose to spell out the number 8 but not the number 10?  It makes no sense. 

Secondly, 'EIGHT TO 10' WEEKS???  There's got to be a way to put a rush on this thing...